“I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.” ~Psalm 101:3
For some reason, I was alone in the bedroom folding laundry. Either Shane took over watching the kiddos in the living room, or actually took them out somewhere. I can’t remember. But I decided this was a great opportunity to watch a classic movie on Netflix. “Touch of Mink”…I don’t think I’ve ever seen that one…Doris Day, Cary Grant? Ah…Perfect.“
OK, so before you read any further, if Touch of Mink is your favorite movie, #sorrynotsorry for the rest of this post. My soul was grieved by what I watched. I simply cannot be silent about what I saw.
It started out OK, I guess. But less than ten minutes into this movie, it was clear that there was a problem.
“Oh, that blonde, ditzy Doris Day character, she’s so pretty and dumb, it’s only a matter of time before she gets raped.” Uttered by her best friend. Not even kidding. No, that’s not a direct quote…but creepily close. When she finally gets hooked by the almost predatory creep played by Cary Grant, who happens to be rich and thinks he can buy people, he proceeds to buy her glamorous clothes, (his limo had splashed mud on her dry-clean only outfit), and then takes her on a series of out-of-town trips to “make it up to her”, where it becomes all too clear that he will expect “payment” of a different kind for his generosity. Are you catching this? He tried to buy her. Like a prostitute. One such out-of-town trip, she, being an innocent virgin, breaks out in hives in fear of what was expected of her and a doctor was called.
Haha. So funny. Is it really?
At that point, I was so sick to my stomach that I couldn’t finish watching the movie. That evening I remember distinctly feeling utterly betrayed. Cary Grant, an actor I had grown up loving and adoring was playing a certifiable jerk. Doris Day, who I had always viewed as beautiful and wholesome, was making both attributes appear naive, foolish and nothing but a trap. Yes, they were just actors. But they chose these roles for whatever reason. And we came to see. In droves. “Touch of Mink” is a classic. And we have made it so.
Because I didn’t finish the movie, I had to look up how the movie ended so that I could post this. According to what I could find, in the end, she “finagles” a proposal out of him and everyone lives “happily ever after.” But is it not disturbing that she sought a proposal from someone who thought he could buy her?
And in true Hollywood style, she was made out to be the heroine who tamed the wild, handsome, ignorant womanizer. What a prize he was.
Now let me say that this review has been burning in my chest since before Christmas. It was here in my soul to share LONG before the Women’s Marches, so please don’t misconstrue this as a response to them. It is simply not.
But we have a serious problem. The disease of hatred and sexism we are experiencing in this current age is a precipitation of something that started many, many years ago. And it’s not just a conspiracy. It was an agenda. Make no mistake.
Have you ever heard of Hegelian dialectic? You can look it up, but it’s essentially this: A fake problem is created, you are then accused of being the cause of that problem, and then the one who made it up in the first place poises themselves as the solution to your problem.
Abusers use this method all the time.
Hollywood has artfully and painstakingly proposed its own philosophy, manufactured a conflict surrounding it, making us the “unenlightened, uneducated, prejudiced, bigoted, etc., etc., etc….problem” and then has proposed itself as the solution…a way to redeem ourselves. It has set itself up as a religion all its own.
My friends, we are in an abusive relationship with Hollywood.
In the 50’s and early 60’s, feminism presented us as the heroes. Women were the angels that men, who were really animals, needed in order to be tamed.
In the late 60’s through the 80’s, it presented us as the oppressed. Men were evil. They created the bras that we must burn. “Women need men like fish need bicycles…” Remember that Gloria Steinem quote?
From the 90’s through the present, Hollywood has presented itself as the solution to our problem. We can speak of our oppression through the art of film and music. Movies, award shows, TV shows and entire stations are now dedicated to “self-awareness” and to freeing women from the slave bonds of men.
Men have been vilified and stupefied. Dump him… Leave him… He doesn’t deserve you… He doesn’t love you… He’s so stupid, he can’t clean, shop, cook or take care of your kids. That’s right. The children have his DNA, too, but they’re exclusively yours. You don’t need him to help you raise them. He shouldn’t even get to decide if you keep them. You are the strong one. He is the weak one. Why bother with him at all? Who needs him?
We have been told that we are objects that are constantly being judged for our bodies, our skin tone, our weight, our job, etc., etc., etc., ad nauseum. And you know whose fault it is? The MAN. We’re better off without him. We don’t need him. All we need is chocolate, coffee, a sexy dress that makes us feel beautiful, the right make-up, the right movie, the right food…Good thing those things are available for us to consume.
Sound familiar? Now I ask you, who is the real oppressor?
The sickening thing is that the “classic” I watched could have been made last year. Feminism hasn’t improved any of this. Don’t believe me? Think about the movies that have come out in the last twelve months. The TV shows. Watch the commercials.
It’s sick. It’s twisted. It’s trashy.
It’s time to recognize that we’ve been in an abusive relationship for nearly 75 years. It’s time to break-up with Hollywood. And get a restraining order. And MOVE ON.
Blessings and much love,
*images OK’d for re-use